"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
