i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
