Kiss
Puke
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
