Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
