His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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