So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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