Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Who died my cat blue again?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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