she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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