I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
