Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize