Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
