ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
