1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
