Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
