i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Pants are for mortals
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
