Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
