she takes plan B like it's going out of style
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
