I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just had sex on a roof
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