Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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