I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Randomize