I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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