We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
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