I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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