I seem to have left my pride at pride
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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