i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
