Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
