I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I had to cum in my sink.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize