im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
