tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Drunk is a universal language darling
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