Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
