if you like me you must not know who I am
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
