it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
