I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
