Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I woke up under a house in Key West
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
