summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
