well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
