areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
