You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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