The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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