I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
