You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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