I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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