Sponge bath it is.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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