Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am one with the molecules
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize