party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
