He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
