i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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