Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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