Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
