you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
