you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
