Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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