You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Two words: nipple clamps
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