My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
