i jhust puked up my retainher.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
