i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
porn star boner night. come get it.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
