I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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