her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
