Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize
