9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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