operation harelip BJ is a go
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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