JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Randomize
